It All Happened So Fast

Brad and I were driving in the rain to Boise.  It was dark – and the bright yellow road signs were all we could see in the black of the night.  We were smoking pot, talking about how we “didn’t feel anything” and laughing about it.  Suddenly, I took a turn too fast and went off the edge of the road into a grassy field.  We spun around a few times, and stopped.  I stared out the windshield at the road.  We landed perfectly parallel to the curve I had taken too fast.  Suddenly…the car started moving.  Not forward or backward, but side to side…like a teeter-totter.  Like we were on a ledge.  The car began to roll to my right….I watched the ground outside the windshield turn vertically….and the car flipped over down a ledge.    I yelled at Bradley to lean the opposite way the car was rolling to maybe we could stop it.  I remember thinking I’ve been on roller coaster rides that were more intense than this.  After three rolls….nothing.  Not that “we stopped” nothing.  That weightless, unsteady feeling – like you’re free falling into a ravine.  But this time I wasn’t looking out the windshield.  I was suddenly terrified.  I grabbed his hand and told him I loved him.  But we landed pretty softly and I felt relief.

The next thing I remember, the police were cleaning out our car that was floating at the base of the river.  We stood by, observing, in a grassy marsh.  A woman with piercings came up to us, as we asked what happened.  She was part of the clean-up crew and pointed to our big pile of stuff.  Two giant, broken Casio keyboards, a pile of clothes…we got closer to the wreckage.  There I was in the driver’s seat…bloated, head to the steering wheel, my stringy dark hair in front of my face.  I turned my head away quickly and grimaced.  I thought about the pot I had been smoking and if I would get in trouble.  Yes, I was dead and alive at the same time.  Would I get in trouble?  “How did we die?” I asked.  She told us that we had drowned.

I sat in the grass and Brad went to explore the wreckage.  I definitely didn’t want to know.  I didn’t want to see me.  I turned around so I wouldn’t see the wreck, and thought about how much trouble I would be in if they knew I was high.  But the traces of pot were in THAT body – not this one…right?

Brad came up behind me and I looked up at him…..he told me my laptop was ruined.  I started sobbing.  All my work…gone.  I took solace in the fact that we would be getting a new car out of the deal.  But wait – did we pay the insurance?  I hope so.

All I remember about the next few days is that we were in an airport, casino, hotel, and ended up being carnies at some point.  Then I woke up.

Disclaimer: No I don’t smoke pot, or play a Casio keyboard.

Trip to Orlando Part 1: Business or Pleasure?

Yes, this will be in parts.  Why? Because it’s amazing and was fun and flat out one of the biggest highlights of my life. (I’m only 26 so we’re going to just blame age for that one.)  The first “leg” of the trip was “purely” for business.  It was the first time I actually answered “business AND pleasure” to that infamous question everyone asks you on the plane.

GoToTraining asked me to speak at their booth at the American Society for Training and Development Conference – and of course I obliged!  Not only do I love sharing my story and trying to teach and inspire others – but I like how important wearing a “mic” makes me look. *prances around*  I almost felt so Britney that I had to refrain from bustin’ out the “Baby One More Time” dance. (You know it too, don’t pretend.)  Anyway, I arrived in Orlando, Florida on a Sunday night at the Peabody Hotel, and had one night to settle in before my husband joined me in Florida.  Why not make a little “vacation” out of it too, right?

That night I immediately put on my swimsuit and made my way poolside, where I ordered chips and salsa and a huge bottle of water and snarfed it like Samantha did on Sex and the City (Part 1).  But I quickly realized that being half-naked and EATING is simply unattractive, so I saved the rest of the poolside orders for frou-frou beverages.

Florida was HOT. Like 95 and humid at 9am.  But who was I to complain? Leaving 45 degree Idaho weather was a Godsend.  The hotel was across the street from the ENORMOUS conference center, so I walked there, and roamed around the giant expo before my scheduled speaking time each day.  I was feeling pretty confident until someone walked up to me wearing the EXACT same outfit as me.  I spent 5 hours trying to perfect my “look”, and there she was – just an average chick sporting the same wardrobe as me.  Le sigh.

The second day was better, and no one wore my outfit.  I emphasized how online training is really a booming business, and that offering online trainings can be extremely profitable.  I showed them April Showers and The Blog Designer Network, and it was all very exciting for the brief 15 minutes that I talked.

 

One night we were headed back up to the room, and the elevator completely stopped.  We rang the “help” line, and hit the emergency button, but alas…we were stuck.  In retrospect it would have been a good idea to make the most of getting stuck in an elevator, but for fear of hidden cameras – we behaved.  We wasted no time calling the front desk and making the hotel aware of our situation.  That didn’t stop us from trying to get out of the elevator ourselves…

Three men came and helped us out as we crawled out onto the third floor (we were stuck at eye-level to the third floor) and sent us to our room.  The next day we received a free dinner at their organic restaurant, a bottle of champagne, and a tray of designer chocolates and liquors.  Can I get stuck in an elevator every day please?

Overall, the conference itself was overwhelmingly impressive and was an eye-opener to the world of training and how beneficial it is.  Also, the stay at the Peabody Orlando was a dream come true – totally gorgeous rooms, excellent service, and a beautiful pool!

Click on any image to view a larger version!

 

 

The next part is all about Disneyworld!

When I Grow Up

So many people I know are having trouble deciding what to “be” when they grow up.  Even the older people who have careers… rarely are any of them “happy” with what they’re currently doing.  (Unless they’re doctors, and the only time they’re truly happy is on vacation.)  We all picture our lives differently when we’re [...]

[Continue reading...]

New Diet Attempt: Alli

alli2

I’m a huge fan of low-carb…so when I started induction (Atkins) on Monday and felt like I was dying by Wednesday, I thought I might need a different approach. I’m not sure why I felt so sick just sticking to veggies and meats since I’ve done it on and off all the time for years, [...]

[Continue reading...]

Summer Beauty Products

listerine_whitening_rinse

It may be a cliche to say that summer is my absolute favorite season.  But it is.   And just because I’m a chub-a-lub doesn’t mean I’m afraid to arm myself with a hot swimsuit and a tan. During the winter I hide in coats and under blankets and grow out my body hair and turn [...]

[Continue reading...]

Hot Highlights and a Backyard Photoshoot

MeMay2011-2

After getting some nice summer highlights the other day, I wanted to show em off.  So I had a mini backyard photoshoot.  Hey…it’s my blog.  You either get pictures of cats, or pictures of me until I have kids. Don’t I look HOT?! Don’t be too jealous, they’re photoshopped. WHAT?! Don’t judge. I’m a graphic [...]

[Continue reading...]