Brad and I were driving in the rain to Boise. It was dark – and the bright yellow road signs were all we could see in the black of the night. We were smoking pot, talking about how we “didn’t feel anything” and laughing about it. Suddenly, I took a turn too fast and went off the edge of the road into a grassy field. We spun around a few times, and stopped. I stared out the windshield at the road. We landed perfectly parallel to the curve I had taken too fast. Suddenly…the car started moving. Not forward or backward, but side to side…like a teeter-totter. Like we were on a ledge. The car began to roll to my right….I watched the ground outside the windshield turn vertically….and the car flipped over down a ledge. I yelled at Bradley to lean the opposite way the car was rolling to maybe we could stop it. I remember thinking I’ve been on roller coaster rides that were more intense than this. After three rolls….nothing. Not that “we stopped” nothing. That weightless, unsteady feeling – like you’re free falling into a ravine. But this time I wasn’t looking out the windshield. I was suddenly terrified. I grabbed his hand and told him I loved him. But we landed pretty softly and I felt relief.
The next thing I remember, the police were cleaning out our car that was floating at the base of the river. We stood by, observing, in a grassy marsh. A woman with piercings came up to us, as we asked what happened. She was part of the clean-up crew and pointed to our big pile of stuff. Two giant, broken Casio keyboards, a pile of clothes…we got closer to the wreckage. There I was in the driver’s seat…bloated, head to the steering wheel, my stringy dark hair in front of my face. I turned my head away quickly and grimaced. I thought about the pot I had been smoking and if I would get in trouble. Yes, I was dead and alive at the same time. Would I get in trouble? “How did we die?” I asked. She told us that we had drowned.
I sat in the grass and Brad went to explore the wreckage. I definitely didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to see me. I turned around so I wouldn’t see the wreck, and thought about how much trouble I would be in if they knew I was high. But the traces of pot were in THAT body – not this one…right?
Brad came up behind me and I looked up at him…..he told me my laptop was ruined. I started sobbing. All my work…gone. I took solace in the fact that we would be getting a new car out of the deal. But wait – did we pay the insurance? I hope so.
All I remember about the next few days is that we were in an airport, casino, hotel, and ended up being carnies at some point. Then I woke up.
Disclaimer: No I don’t smoke pot, or play a Casio keyboard.
